I don’t know who I speak for other than I when I say that those moments do indeed exist where it seems almost impossible for us to see the beauty between all the shades of grey in this world. People always ask me why I say things are almost impossible…why I link ‘almost’ to the word ‘impossible’. It’s cause I don’t think anything is in fact completely impossible in this life and so I refuse to make it seem otherwise. All the impossibilities in our lives have become just that because we have chosen to create it within that hopeless light.

          I keep asking myself what we need in order to get through these moments without just getting by because a difference does exist between the two. Getting by is wallowing through life, wasting the moments we need to cherish hopelessly. Getting through…well doesn’t it sound like you are trying to get to the light at the end of that tunnel when you’re doing this? To me it does. That’s just it you know, there is a light at the end of every single dark moment, a feeling of warmth in every single storm and a good in every single bad. It’s with the eyes that we choose to view our world that makes the biggest impact on what goes on in both our minds and our hearts. We often forget that what defines us are not the actions, the thoughts, or the words that are carried out through our minds but those that are done so by our hearts. We judge ourselves and those around us more often by their minds than we do anything else. What we are all held accountable for is that which lies within our hearts because of all things, those which reside there can never be altered.

           So how is it that we find this light that gives us hope when all hope is lost? I honestly don’t know. I wish I did but I feel like its something that is different for everyone. So to state my opinion will provide no benefits for anyone. One thing I do know though that is true for all is this: patience is what gets us through each and everyday. So on those days where life seems impossible, the patience within us is what we have allowed to be forgotten. Truth be told…that’s something we can’t ever lose because in losing that we lose our ability to hope and without hope, we have nothing else to go on for.

What do you call those moments that provide you with the rush of ecstasy running through your veins? Where you feel like you’re in a different world, rolling to levels this world alone cannot bring you. We all have those moments, and if we have not yet then I promise you that they are sure to come, where life feels like a dream. You find yourself begging Him to wake you up because it cannot be possible to live up to everything you are meant to and if it’s far from surreal, feeling the tease of it will only kill. I’ve been begging people to pinch me and wake me up from this dream over and over again and I have realized just this: This is my life, and this is what comes from it when I do justice to my heart. 

I’ve realized more these days then I have ever before how much scarier it is to live up to your dreams and make them happen than it is to turn your back on them. I can’t put a number to the amount of people I know who have allowed this society, friends, family, and even the economy to make them walk away from all they wish to stand for because there’s SO many. I often find myself so close to doing so, but I’ve been lucky enough to realize before it’s too late that I’m not willing to live the rest of my life in regret. I think I give credit to those who turn their backs on what they want because it takes a lot of strength to walk away and know for the rest of your life that you did. But does it not take more to stand still and completely alone to achieve what the world tells you is a mere dream? When you follow your dreams, you reach places, levels that you cannot anywhere else or even in anything else. It’s because of this that fear lies within us, we fear not just failing but succeeding I think even more. When you’re on top of the world, the height regardless of the adrenaline it may give you is scary. It’s scary to be able to say that you’ve succeeded or that you still are. I know because I try everyday and some days I swear I’m convinced I’m gonna fall, but then I don’t. For that I’m thankful. It’s cause of this that I can stand alone and be not just content, but satisfied. Are you?

I hate that I get it. I hate that I understand and that because I do I can’t be bitter. I can’t lash out. I can’t break things or throw everything that I’ve worked for away like it means nothing. I hate that I wake up every morning and that every second of my every day, SOMETHING in this world reminds me of you. Most of all, I hate that if I’m not smiling because I’m happy I got to have it when I did even though I no longer do, I’m empty inside wishing I never got to reach something of that magnitude. This way I wouldn’t be one of the lucky ones who get to vouch every day for the mere fact that it really EXISTS. You’re my every breath, you made sure of that with everything you showed me, with everything you gave me, and with every seed you planted inside me. I can’t get rid of the heart that keeps me alive even if it means I’m breathing you in inside every moment.  But even after all of the bad I feel in some of my days, I still have my mindset. I still believe and hope and revolve my entire life around love because you and I taught each other nothing better, simply because nothing better exists, nothing will ever top true, real, PURE LOVE. This is what I promise tonight.