Something That’s Bigger Than Us..

What is it that you are willing to do in order to get to where you want to be…to be who you are meant to be? The way I say that comes off as if I’m saying that we should kill and betray to defeat others but it’s not at all what I intend to say or mean. I don’t believe in hurting by default or even at all if it’s avoidable but this is besides my current point. I’ve known how indecisive I am with almost everything in my life for awhile now. It’s not even that I am indecisive; it’s that I fear along with everyone else. What is it that I fear? Well what is it that we all fear? I fear succeeding and being great at that which I am meant to be and to do. We are all people who are destined for something. Knowing this is common knowledge, but to be able to be who you are meant to and stand tall as you do it, what better discomfort can we feel?

I never knew that the discomfort from certain situations could actually be a good thing to feel. I never understood it until I felt it from something bigger than all of us. This past summer I got the opportunity to be captivated by nature herself. I used to wake up at 7 in the morning every day just to watch the sunrise…and one morning I let her in. One of my friends told me to go outside bare, with no phone and no company. I was told to close my eyes and allow every sense except my sight the opportunity to intensify as much as my body permitted. In doing so, nature took me over and I felt like I was being dominated by something bigger than me, bigger than anyone and it was far from a comfortable feeling. I felt like something was seeping through every pore trying to exist in me…even through me. I felt violated but it was a violation I needed, one that I think we all need. It felt good… it was new, real, and more worthy than anything else I have felt. That feeling has never left me and there are only so few moments that life will give us that have a permanence that can never be elapsed and this was one of them.

           Someone who I indeed look up to now told me yesterday of the possible conflicts I would have in my coming future if I chose to pursue my dreams. I think I was supposed to fear her words but I didn’t. I can’t wait to experience every struggle although I do know that in those moments I won’t be saying the same things that I am now. But that’s just it; it is through our struggles that our true identity and strength is revealed. We can only assume and hope to be as capable as we should until then. We fear glory and triumph not that of cities and people, but that which is of ourselves… I’m letting go of mine now, when will you choose to let go of yours?